#and if you cannot make the joy

[cryptocism]

"just as I did, in 1983."

you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable

[5ftboy]

"We eat people."

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[mourn-and-watch]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

[xoxoemynn]

Genuinely my favorite thing is seeing love on my dash.

Doesn't matter what kind.

Love for a show, love for fictional characters, love for a special interest, love for each other.

Doesn't matter if I don't even know what or who you're talking about.

It's just... something or somebody makes you so happy you can't keep it to yourself and you want to share it with everybody on this silly website, and others add onto that love, and it just keeps on growing?

Yeah. That's what I'm after.

[mongeese]

Very small piece overshadowed by everything else but I full almost cried at Elgin's line here. Service to others and service to a cause you believe in as service to yourself. Not working for anyone else but dedicating yourself to your work and your community because you want to, because it matters to you. So fucking true. Anyway totally unrelated hc that definitely isn't me projecting I think Elgin's butch

[Image ID: A screenshot of The Silt Verses transcript. It reads

"PAIGE stares at her. She's genuinely touched.

PAIGE: Do you do anything for yourself, Elgin?

ELGIN: (Almost surprised by the question) All of this has been for me. You know that Paige, don't you?"

End ID]

[crescentfool]

persona nui havers! in the tags, talk about your nuis like you're writing a review of them on a website!

[steakout-05]

i might get some hate for this depending on where this post goes but i think lesboys are so valid and the discourse about them is so ridiculous. like you guys shouldn't have to deal with all that and it frustrates me that people throw hissy fits over an identity that literally does not affect them at all.

"but men cant be lesbians-" wrong. butch lesbians and trans men have a really closely connected history with each other that practically intersects and you should really do some research on that before you make blanket statements, not to mention that gender and sexuality is weird and wobbly and fluid and a very personal experience. it means a different thing to each person. being a man can be something completely different and saying stuff like this ignores people like demiboys, demigirls, genderfluid and genderflux people etc. these people will really preach "demolish the gender binary!! love is love!!" until someone's relationship with gender and sexuality is a little too freaky for them to handle and be challenged by lmaoo

"ohhh but what about the cishet men who say they're lesbians to prey on women-" YEAH WHAT ABOUT THEM????? THIS AIN'T ABOUT THEM BRO!!!!! this argument also REEKS of terfy "trans women are just predatory men!!!111!!1" rhetoric and it grosses me out. yeah some men are gross and do try to pull this but that does not negate someone's entire identity completely just because of a few bad actors, you know that right? actual black and white behaviour.

queer discourse is silly and i don't know why it's a thing. just let people exist. it isn't that hard. we have worse things to worry about than whether someone calls themselves a lesboy or not. i think we need to unplug our ears and yank our heads out of the sand and remember that the queer community is what it is because of our unique and amazing diversity. arguing over labels like school children isn't gonna help that. damn.

[anglerflsh]

les mis can be a commedy. To me.

[silkjade]

i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….

[gladiatorcunt]

thinking about rafe & coryo & anakin & astarion and how imo their inherrent appeal (if you pick up on any) is supposed to be in the fact that something is extremely wrong with them (or they aren’t meant to have any appeal at all). bc i don’t understand the stans who are so selective with reading and hearing they try to argue otherwise like were you so blinded you ignored the glaringly & obviously bad things about them??????? rafe & coryo & anakin later especially?????????

[rayshippouuchiha]

baby blanket done! \o/ i like how it came out, the colors are funky, so i’m glad i didn’t do a sort of gradient thing. although that might be good for another project.

the yarn haul! because i have no self control in a new yarn store with new things that my local yarn store doesn’t have and also bless my stepmom because she helped buy some of this. <3 (I DON’T HAVE A YARN PROBLEM I CAN STOP ANYTIME I WANT) from left to right: cotton yarn that will hopefully become a hat (i already wound them into balls, which is tedious), a scarf kit that is silk-based with cotton for support, then the shawl kits! have yet to try shawls so far, but i think that i wanna try to start one this year, maybe. should probably finish a couple other projects first. >.>;;; i almost bought a stocking kit, as in ‘make a giant christmas stocking’ kit, but that falls under sock category and i’m not at that level (yet). ALSO. don’t have a decent pic, but i HAVE started on your blanket. not much to show for it yet since i have to do the border first, but it hath begun!

[badolmen]

On the topic of ‘bad mascot horror video games for kids’ the exception to the rule (or rather, something that understood the assignment) would be My Friendly Neighborhood.

I don’t want to spoil anything if you haven’t booted up the game before, but just…don’t be fooled by jumpscare compilations or the character design. From the opening cutscene this game grabs you by the fucking throat. The mechanics have thought put into them, the voice acting is top notch, and christ the fucking story - a complete story, one that has an end that isn’t promised in future ‘chapters’ or left ambiguous.

Yes, it has jumpscares from goofy muppet monsters, but they’re not cheap tricks. Once you learn how the game works they’re easy to avoid or at the very least anticipate - not to mention they’re survivable with the healing mechanic. And just when you think the scares are done, when you’re well into the game and have all the tools you need to navigate around potential jumpscares, the final act dunks you into the deep-end with the actual horror and nightmare fuel puppets.

I’m not sure how much the game as a whole qualifies as ‘horror,’ but it’s certainly being lumped in with the Whatever-Mascot Horror Game of the Week genre. Which is a shame because My Friendly Neighborhood is leagues ahead of those other games. It has more in common with survival horror than it does with mascot horror in terms of gameplay and tropes. It’s literally just the ‘monster’ designs leading people to assume its another Poppy Playtime clone complete with half baked story and repetitive, unimaginative gameplay loops. And that’s so far from the truth -

My Friendly Neighborhood is like if Sesame Street and Resident Evil had a beautiful muppet baby that opened its eyes to have an existential crisis when confronted with the horrors and apathy of modern capitalism.

[hanafubukki]

Ever have those moments when you just daydream and go, “I am so in love with you?”

I mean it’s not surprising and I’ve been knowing but just…thinking about these domestic moments with Lilia today…

And it’s like, “wow, I am very stupidly in love with you”

And it’s the disbelief and the giddiness that just fills you, you know? At the realization? Well, re-realization I guess you can say?? The joy??

I have no idea where I’m going with this. It’s just one of those days where you just think about stuff like this and it hits you all over again 🥹💞🙏

[calicoscurse]

is there a part of the Malevolent fandom that posts theories and content about the show? like people are free to do fanon and ship but GODDD it sucks when trying to look for content about the actual podcast

[ahalliance]

how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another